Akeria & Bob's Daily Rants (Thread 1) [October 16th - October 20th]

Last edited by Akeria Hale on Tue Oct 21, 2008 8:46 pm; edited 8 times in total

Akeria & Bob's Daily Rants
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Okay, so today is October 16^th, and I’m bored in lunch again—in the library, and y’all know what that means!!

IT’S RANT TIME!!!

Late at night, one often has imposing questions that keep one from sleeping. I have one of these questions. This question is: Is the avocado a fruit, or a vegetable???? Seriously! I’ve lost sleep over this subject!

Scientists continue to be baffled about this urban legend. Many believe that the avocado is a fruit, many believe it is a vegetable, and then there are those who say “Who cares! Just eat it!~” I don’t agree with any of these people.

I say that the Avocado (yes, it deserves the respect of capitalization) is an alien from outer space. I mean, it’s all rough looking on the outside, but all good and creamy and delicious on the inside. Yummmm…

Anyway! Before I get too hungry, I will prove my thesis correct.

The Avocado came about in 1267 (AD of course) and since then, farmers have been dumbfounded about how this strange fruit/vegetable/alien came into existence. Does it grow from the brown thing in the center? Or is that just the alien species’ eggs? Well? Which is it???

According to Wikipedia—a very reliable source—the Avocado is in fact a fruit or a “large berry” No. They’re wrong. The Avocado is an alien, and all of you are going to be very upset when you’re dead due to your negligence on this subject.

I myself have been abducted by Avocado’s. Yes, I have. I am working secretly for them, but by publishing this rant I am breaking trust with the Avocado’s.

~Akeria

12:14 AM

Thursday, October 16^th, 2008.

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Today is October 17^th, and I’m in the library.

RANT TIME!!!

Today’s topic will be the differences between Gummy Bears, and Gummy Worms. Which do you prefer? Personally, I’m a Gummy Bear kinda gal, but you know, everyone is entitled to their own gummy preferences.

The Gummy Bear was invented in Germany, by a man named Hans Riegel. Riegel invented this cute little bear, and gave it the German name Gummibarchen or “little rubber bear” J

The Gummy Worm on the other hand was a variation on the Gummy Bear, accidentally invented years after.

Now time for skepticism. Gummy Worms, for all you non believers, are evil. I’m not even kidding. The Gummy Bear was invented first, and because of that the Evil Empire of the Gummy Worm is well, trying to take over Gummy Bear Kingdom.

How can we stop this you ask? Well, it’s quite simple. Boycott Gummy Worms. It’s easy! Just go into your local candy store, say “Can I have all the Gummy Worms please?” and then throw them on the ground and stomp on them. No violence required. The Evil little Worms will never see it coming. Then turn back to the woman at the counter, who is probably looking at you like you’ve lost it, and say “Oh, that was nothing. I was just keeping Gummy Bear Kingdom safe by killing all the Gummy Worms working under-cover in this store.” Then walk out.

The Gummy Bear Kingdom will happily give you a bouquet of Gummy Flowers—imported—and then proceed to throw a ceremony for you.

Huzzah!

The Gummy Bears now know that they can depend on you, no matter whether Gummy Hippos, or Gummy Lobsters attack.

~Akeria

11:56 AM

Friday, October 17, 2008.
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You better believe it's Saturday, October 18^th, and I’m up in my room on my computer!!

DAILY RANT!!!

The rant for October 18^th, 2008 will be about Hula Hoops. Yes, you heard me, Hula Hoops. No one knows when these violent circles were invented, but we do know that it was around the time of Ancient Civilizations such as Egypt and Greece. They were used for training during those times, but now they are used for other purposes.

Now, Hula Hoops are used for sport. Hula Hooping has become a popular record to try and break in the Guinness Book of World Records. These records include most hoops twirled at one time, longest continued twirling, and other random things like twirling with fire, and twirling while balancing a guitar on your nose…

Skepticism time!

Everyone might think that Hula Hoops are all fun and games, but you’d be surprised. These mystical hoops of wonder happen to be Brain-Drain-Hoops, founded by Brain Drain & Co.

Brain Drain & Co. often is heard of as “Plastic”. The hoops are made out of this strange material, harnessed by Brain Drain & Co. to suck the life—and brains—out of small American Children!!

Well, what do we do about this? See, Brain Drain & Co. is so powerful, that unlike Gummy Worms, boycotting won’t work. No, no. This will have to be done by force.

I am suggesting an army, of over 46,853 men go and take over Brain Drain & Co. The men running this company will go “What???” And in turn, as we throw them into closets, we will say “Ya Dang Right!”

The good folks of America may not notice that their brains are slowly going missing, or that the more they turn, the heavier the hoops become. But I do. Thank goodness I’m a bad Hula Hooper, otherwise I would be just as clueless as the rest of you.

~Akeria

5:38 PM

Saturday, October 18, 2008.
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Hey there, Akeria again. I’m up in my room again today cause it’s the weekend. Saturday the 19^th of October to be exact. J

RANT TIME!!!

Okay, so today I’m going to be ranting about Tennis Balls. Yes, you heard me correctly, I will be talking about small spheres that you whack around with a wired racket over a net and on a court. Honestly, how would you feel about this?

The Tennis Ball is so under appreciated. Here, right next to me I have Bob, the pink tennis ball. Now, Bob has some very intricate feelings about being a Tennis Ball, which he shared with me.

Interview with Bob:

“Hello Akeria,” Bob said.

“Hello Bob.” I replied. “All of my readers agree that you are a Tennis Ball correct?”

Bob shrugged, looking down. “I suppose that’s correct.”

“How do you feel about being a Tennis Ball?” I asked him.

“I hate it!” Bob started to get hysterical, I needed to stop it.

“Can you tell me why?” I pleaded, not trying to pressure him into more hysterics. Bob sighed deeply and began.

“First of all, being pink, I’m generally bought by girls. Why? Why can’t I be bought by boys?”

“I’m not sure…” I replied. Bob glared at me.

“Second, I hate being whacked around the court! Do you know how hard that thing is when you bounce?”

So there you have it folks. Bob, my Pink Tennis Ball friend hates being used for sport. Please, hear Bob’s plea. Stop playing Tennis.

~Akeria

5:17 PM

Sunday, October 19, 2008.
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Hi everyone, it’s Bob. Akeria was feeling a bit sick today, so she asked me to write her rant for her. So, today is Monday, October 20, 2008.

Rant time. Was that supposed to be in Caps?

Okay, so she left me a few notes about what to talk about. Today’s topic is music. She wasn’t very specific about what she wanted me to say about music, so I guess I’ll just take a whack at this.

Everyone loves music, but music depends on that person’s taste. I hate (as does Akeria) the way that people think they’re better than you just because they listen to a certain kind of music. Take me for example. I absolutely love classical music, but Akeria adores Rock & Roll. Seriously, I’m looking at her iTunes library right now, and she has 933 songs, not to mention music videos and movies.

I believe that music effects peoples mood. If I listen to a really nice classical piece, such as Claire De Lune, I automatically forget if I’m angry and go into a sense of tranquility. If I try to listen to any of Akeria’s peppy, happy, Rock & Roll music, well… let’s just say it gets me hyper.

Akeria also wanted me to add some sort of skepticism. Here’s what she wrote: “Bob, discuss what we talked about yesterday, you know, about Music being mood controlling devices? Much like Hula Hoops are brain drain hoops. Try and make it sound appealing for our readers.”

I’m not exactly sure what she meant about the Hula Hoops, but I think she’s right about mood controlling devices.

Music totally effects the way that you think/feel/are. You can be in one mood, and then listen to a song and it completely changes it. I mean, right now, I’m perfectly calm, listening to some simple Bach. Now I’ve put on Cities On Flame With Rock and Roll by Blue Oyster Cult, and I can feel my typing speed increase.

She also told me to tell you how to stop this, but I’m not sure if it needs to be stopped. Akeria, this is one thing that doesn’t need changing. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

-Bob

4:39 PM

Monday, October 20, 2008.
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That's it for this thread of Akeria & Bob's Daily Rants.
Please click here for the next thread.

~Akeria
-Bob

XDXDXDXD Avacado!

I knew you'd laugh at that...

Avacodos are yuck. Alien eggs in disguise? Agreed. What a wonderful subject, no?

Gummie worms, in all their delicious,neon,fruity flavor, are indeed ebil. They possesed my cat into naming them and carring them where ever they want to go. He plays fetch with them, too, every so often, so my mumsy has to go and get more to his liking as well. No joke.

Akeria & Bob's Daily Rants (Thread 1) [October 16th - October 20th] C_A_N_N_I_B_A_L_candy___III

But it comes in true that
ALL CANDY IS VIRTUALLY EBILLL!

Hula Hoops eh?
....
........
..
SEND OUT THE CANDY!

Note- Beware gummie clams. They have feelings too.

One Special Member! Posts : 6289 Join date : 2008-08-09

Gummy... CLAMS?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

BTW, I hate Gummy Worms! They are EEEEEVIL!!!!

Heheh, very nice, Keri!! ^^ Interesting theory on the avocados. But where you say "you will prove your thesis correct," I must scientifically disagree.

According to my science this year . . . :study: Science can not prove anything. It only takes a single counter-example to deem the theory wrong.

So, while I agree with you that they're aliens, I just couldn't resist being scientifical. ;)

You know what Shadow, I hope the Gummy-Worms attack/eat you. :P

Tomorrow I'll post a new rant about Tennis Balls, and how they are miss-treated.

One Special Member! Posts : 6289 Join date : 2008-08-09

Hah! Tennis Balls?!

One Special Member! Posts : 5157 Join date : 2008-03-25

Haha, hillarious!

Lol, that should be interesting!!

And the gummy worms aren't gonna eat me. I'm gonna eat them—if we're gonna destroy them, might as well eat 'em, right? I mean, I'm sure the gummy bears don't want to be eaten. So we should eat the gummy worms, instead!! *chomp*

No. Don't eat the worms, they'll infect you and kill you. Rawr.

One Special Member! Posts : 6289 Join date : 2008-08-09

No 19th??

Oh, I wrote it but I forgot to post it... XD

*Meep..* Gummy Worms scare me now.....

Bob feels under-appreciated.

"You better believe I do!"

Hahah, I can't be infected. ;D So I'll eat all the gummy worms I like.

Anyway: OMG, Bob, you've moved me. I'm going to try and avoid tennis a lot more now; unless my dad forces me to play.

Note from Bob:
Thank you. It truely means a lot to me that people found my story touching.
*sniffs* I just can't tell you all how hard it is.

It's okay Bob. We all understand.

A Note From Bob:
Attention everyone! The latest rant is up. Akeria started to feel a bit sick, so she wrote out some guidelines for me to follow and had me write it. I hope you like it. Thanks!
-Bob

One Special Member! Posts : 6289 Join date : 2008-08-09

Bob, you are truly a cutie!

NICE RANTS! *cough*the19thwasasunday*cough**cough*Ilikecorrectingyou*cough*

A Note From Bob:
Thank you Misty! That means a lot to me. Have you read the latest rant? I wrote it. Akeria isn't feeling too well, and she's got homework.

One Special Member! Posts : 6289 Join date : 2008-08-09

Aha, yes I have, and tell her about what I said to her!

(Hey, 'Keri, truthfully, do you actually play Bob, or does a friend or whatever??)

Nice, Bob!! ;D I think that music has hypnotizing powers!! :o

One Special Member! Posts : 5157 Join date : 2008-03-25

Bob, how do you type? I've never heard of a Tennis Ball with aposable thumbs. Or any thumbs at all for that matter.

» Akeria & Bob's Daily Rants (Thread 2) [October 21st - October 26th]
» Akeria & Bob's Daily Rants (Thread 3) [October 25th - ?]
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