1,000,000 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity

Yes, this is from WI!


Here are a few of mine





1:

Go to a restraunt and say "I would like some diet water...."


2:

On a thread that has tons of posts say "Yay!, first post!"


3:

At Walmart put all the Dora dolls on the fllor, and when someone gos to pick them up yell "swiper stop swiping!"



Now its your turn!

This is also from an email.

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, a sk If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

Most of these are adult related, but they're still hillarious!

hahahahaha i love it pumkin!!!

I KNOW! LOL!

you PM'd me that like 6 months ago. you've gotta post the cinco de mayo one too!

HAHA, Okay.
Even though it's not May 5th.

20. Tell this story!

Mayonnaise......the true story... :>)
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
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WHAT??? WHAT??? You expected something educational from me?

21. When you're standing at a high place (Lets say... Umm, second floor of a mall where there is a railing and you can look down at the first floor), scream, drop an egg, then run away as fast as you can :)

22. Banana.

23. While eating a carrot, tur to the person next to you and say "Hey, I heard that carrots are good for your eyesight... I figure it must be true. After all, have you ever seen a bunny with glasses?"

24. Run around your school screaming "FIRE FIRE!!!!!"

xD

25. When you touch the swimming pool or and body of water, yell "I'M MELTING! MEEEEELLLTING!"

26. When your in class talking about something boring... raise your hand and ask: Wait, so if pi equals 3.14, then what does cake equal?

27. When someone says something about you, say, "I know what I am but what am I?"

The next one will actually be 27 because you guys skipped 20.

((Numbers Smumbers))

((Sinko de Mayo counts as 20 then))

((Fixed it!))

(1st. Pumpkin, that's kinda rude..
2nd. Suburb, it's ways to seem insane, not stories of the past.)

((BUT IT IS INSANE!))

((I ment that as a joke. And look on my post to see how I fixed it))

28. When you are riding on a thrill roller coaster say, "I'm Bored"

29. When you see those dolls that you pen up and the smaller one goes inside, yell, "IT'S A HIGGLYTOWN HERO! WE'RE SAVED!"

( Where did you get Higgly biggly? My brotha watches that show....But I'LL DO IT!!! )

((My sister is 3.. that's all I'll say))

( Oh, my brother is too..... )

879: Walk inot a home depot and ask for STRIPED PAINT.

9000: Call a random number and ask for a large cheese pizza.

(These I have mistakenly done MYSELF!)

297: Watching a bad movie and yell, "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU!" over and over again until it's over.