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kieran c:
They're over 9000!
kieran c:


Posts : 13885
Join date : 2008-08-28
Age : 25
Location : Washington State

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PostSubject: Nevermind   Nevermind I_icon_minitimeTue Oct 07, 2008 11:16 am

Nevermind


Last edited by + Branch Nessie + on Tue Jan 13, 2009 9:38 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Lan Fan
Trustworthy Member
Trustworthy Member
Lan Fan


Posts : 2810
Join date : 2008-10-30
Age : 26
Location : USA

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PostSubject: Re: Nevermind   Nevermind I_icon_minitimeSat Nov 01, 2008 8:31 pm

The only mistakes I saw were these:

"Shadowstar lead the group, Darkheart on his left side and Icestorm on his right."

It should be "Shadowstar led the group."

"Well, sorry to say, but your on ShadeClan territory."

Should be "But you're on ShadeClan territory."


"What a werid name, she also smelt like a loner of a rouge."

Should be "What a weird name. She also smelled like a loner or a rogue."

I don't mean to sound bossy or anything, but I'm just trying to make it better.
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kieran c:
They're over 9000!
kieran c:


Posts : 13885
Join date : 2008-08-28
Age : 25
Location : Washington State

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PostSubject: Re: Nevermind   Nevermind I_icon_minitimeSat Nov 01, 2008 9:31 pm

Its fine. Thanks for the editing. :)
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PostSubject: Re: Nevermind   Nevermind I_icon_minitime

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