| | ~Jointclan~ A visit~The story of a evil rouge..and two cats that save the clan. |  |
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❝ lauren ❞
The Admins
Posts : 10853
Join date : 2008-10-26
Age : 25
Location : in london, of course.
 |  Subject: ~Jointclan~ A visit~The story of a evil rouge..and two cats that save the clan.  Sat Jan 24, 2009 9:49 am | |
| (This story is about the rp Jointclan, which is where me and Branch rp. I will tell from the start of part 2, to where we are in part 3.)
~Preface~
Mellowheart snickered and turned to her followers. "There is a camp over there." She whispered. "Remember.." She trotted toward the camp, grinning wickdly. MellowClan...MellowClan... Was her only thought. Her yellow pelt glistened as she heard mews. "Time for the evil to rise..." She murmered, as the entered the camp as a evil Loner......
Last edited by Rand-om Vix-om on Sat Jan 24, 2009 1:34 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
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Lan Fan
Trustworthy Member
Posts : 2810
Join date : 2008-10-30
Age : 26
Location : USA
| | Subject: Re: ~Jointclan~ A visit~The story of a evil rouge..and two cats that save the clan. Sat Jan 24, 2009 1:22 pm | |
| The preface is rather short, but I like it so far. I could only see two things:
1. If you mean a loner, it's spelled "rogue." Rouge is a red color, pronounced "Rooj."
2. The C in "MellowClan," and any other Clan, should be capitalized. | |
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❝ lauren ❞
The Admins
Posts : 10853
Join date : 2008-10-26
Age : 25
Location : in london, of course.
| | Subject: Re: ~Jointclan~ A visit~The story of a evil rouge..and two cats that save the clan. Sat Jan 24, 2009 1:34 pm | |
| I know its short. =( I had to leave. | |
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Lan Fan
Trustworthy Member
Posts : 2810
Join date : 2008-10-30
Age : 26
Location : USA
| | Subject: Re: ~Jointclan~ A visit~The story of a evil rouge..and two cats that save the clan. Sat Jan 24, 2009 2:28 pm | |
| That's all right. When it comes to the lengths of paragraphs, or even chapters, I don't care how long it is. Some people do, though.
I can't wait to see the next part! | |
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kieran c:
They're over 9000!
Posts : 13885
Join date : 2008-08-28
Age : 25
Location : Washington State
| | Subject: Re: ~Jointclan~ A visit~The story of a evil rouge..and two cats that save the clan. Sat Jan 24, 2009 2:31 pm | |
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❝ lauren ❞
The Admins
Posts : 10853
Join date : 2008-10-26
Age : 25
Location : in london, of course.
| | Subject: Re: ~Jointclan~ A visit~The story of a evil rouge..and two cats that save the clan. Sat Jan 24, 2009 2:41 pm | |
| Thanks! Branch pretty much knows. xD | |
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kieran c:
They're over 9000!
Posts : 13885
Join date : 2008-08-28
Age : 25
Location : Washington State
| | Subject: Re: ~Jointclan~ A visit~The story of a evil rouge..and two cats that save the clan. Sat Jan 24, 2009 2:44 pm | |
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❝ lauren ❞
The Admins
Posts : 10853
Join date : 2008-10-26
Age : 25
Location : in london, of course.
| | Subject: Re: ~Jointclan~ A visit~The story of a evil rouge..and two cats that save the clan. Sat Jan 24, 2009 2:46 pm | |
| XD Anyway..Imma not able to do it now though. | |
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| | Subject: Re: ~Jointclan~ A visit~The story of a evil rouge..and two cats that save the clan. | |
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| | ~Jointclan~ A visit~The story of a evil rouge..and two cats that save the clan. | |
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